Stressed OUT

Let’s face it… Young adults like yourself have it much harder than teens did 20 years ago.

School is no longer the place for primarily peaceful academics. 

There are guns in school.  There are police in the schools.  People are now less likely to “just” punch each other out in a fist-fight, and more likely to bring a semi-automatic and start unloading.  It’s stressful even to BE in school.  You may be afraid for your own physical safety. 

There are more drugs in school.  And more drug busts.  Who knows when your school might be put in lock down, dogs and officers searching your school, your locker scrutinized, your bookbag emptied out.

The conditions for getting a good job have not gotten easier.  So you may have additional stress about how you are going to “make it” once you do graduate high school.  Should you take out loans for college?  Should you just get out there and start making money? 

Then there is the whole school social atmosphere.  Who’s hot and who’s not?  How to avoid ridicule?  How to make and keep friends?  It’s a whole course of study in itself. 

Then there’s the romantic part… or NOT.  Can you get a boyfriend or girlfriend?  Does he/she like you back?  Will he/she humiliate you?  Is it all even worth it? 

Who has time and energy to actually study? 

Then there’s the whole home life… You are trying to gain independence and learn to function on your own in the world and your parents may seem to be trying to restrain you in every way.  You may rebel against their rules or try to negotiate compromises.  You may feel like they don’t understand you AT ALL anymore. 

Trying to juggle all these pieces can be very stressful.  

How to deal?

For one:  have a support system.  This can be friends your age… if they are truly supportive… and not dragging you down with drugs or troublesome behaviors. 

It can be family members.  Relatives who you feel like you can talk to and they really hear what you are saying.  Sometimes a grandfather or aunt who is not directly involved with your conflicts with your parents can be helpful. 

It can be older persons… responsible adults outside the family.  Coaches or leaders of your groups or activities. 

Ideally, you would have people from each of the groups above in your support system. 

Two:  have some hobbies and interests.  Whatever you think is FUN.  If you can’t think of anything, then try to remember what you used to like as a kid.  Try that again.  Try to do one fun thing everyday.  Even if it only takes 20 minutes. 

Fun is actually really important.  You may have discarded play, thinking you are too grown-up for that now.  But a good dose of silly-ness and laughter is great against stress and even helps strengthen your immune system. 

Three:  Get help where you need it. 

If you are struggling with academics, ask your teacher to help you find a tutor.

If you are questioning the meaning of the life, the universe and everything, talk to a chaplain in your neighborhood.  See if spirituality has a place in your life. 

If you are struggling with weight, poor diet or unhealthy habits, talk to your doctor.  If you don’t have one, go to your community public health center. 

If you are often depressed or anxious, talk to a counselor.  Ask for one at school if you can’t ask at home. 

You may not feel like anyone cares.  You may feel too embarrassed to ask for help.  You may feel like you want to tough it out and figure everything out on your own.  But now is actually a really good time to get help.  People are often very glad to help teens and young adults.  You are in a stage of life where you have a lot of potential to change, if you just have the right help.  Professionals recognize this and may be more willing to go out of their way for you now, than if you wait another 10 years to engrain your habits.  Also there are free services that are available to teens and young people, that are not available to older adults.  So ask for help now. 

Schedule a consultation here!